I’m a little risk averse. And I’m kind of afraid of heights. Yet somehow, I’ve never been afraid of taking great leaps.

It’s the thrill of the unknown. The possibility that I will come across something I’ve never seen before. The opportunity to pull off some piece of old self and reveal something new and different.

I did it when I moved to London with my then wife, having no job or home. I did it when I moved to New York City, again with no job or no home. I did it once more when I left my full-time corporate existence to go back to California.

Now, I have a one-way ticket to Europe. I’m leaving tonight. I don’t know when I’m coming back. Or what I’ll come back to. Or if I’m even coming back. Whoa.

This is the culmination of events, manifested desires and instances of choking back fear that started taking shape about two months ago. It’s been pretty weird, kind of confusing and all sorts of awesome.

I want to explain this in a way that isn’t so poetic or dreamy. Yet, I can already see my prose starting to take on some shades of flourish, so I’ll lay everything out in a cheeky Q&A. It’s an idea that struck me during savasana this morning (when my mind was supposed to be quiet, but like that ever actually happens). Think of this as like a White House press briefing, only with a man probably who has done a lot more hiding in the bushes than Sean Spicer.

So wait, you lost me in that preamble. What are you doing again?

I’m going to Europe. My intention is to find a way to move there, semi-permanently.

Where in Europe are you going?

First, I’m going to a Buddhist retreat in France for a week. That’s kind of how this thing all started. Then, I’m going to London and staying with some gracious friends for a few weeks. After, I’m going to Florence through the first week of October. Beyond that, I have no idea.

Why Europe?

Because it feels like home. Not “home” like where I grew up (because I was just there!), but “home” in the sense of where my soul (or creativity…or joy) comes alive.

I’ve had this longing for years, but I wasn’t clear as to if it was just a desire to relive old times in London. I went to Europe in May/June and finally realized that this wasn’t the case. I had changed, the people had changed, Europe had changed and yet, that feeling of “home” was still there. So when I returned to the US from that trip, I knew that I would have to start working towards getting to Europe.

That was two months ago. How did everything come about so quickly?

I guess this is where that term I dropped earlier – “manifested desire” – starts coming in.

I’d been telecommuting as a Communications Director for one of my old clients since January. When I returned from my trip, I asked if they’d be open to the idea of me working from Europe for three months later in the year. They were open but lukewarm to the idea, since I’d already taken a lengthy vacation and not been super responsive when I was away. I told my boss that the desire was so strong that I’d be willing to go freelance.

Lo and behold, I inadvertently got my wish a few weeks later. The CEO was increasingly displeased with the telecommuting setup. We had some disagreements. He and my boss decided that I should be a part-time consultant for them once more, as opposed to a full-time director.

It felt like shit. But then after the dust settled, I realized that I had gotten what I wanted: the opportunity to freelance and live (almost) anywhere. It’s really weird how you get what you want, just not in the manner you expect.

Why didn’t you just look for another full-time gig?

I was thinking about it. And then I saw that the Plum Village monastery was having a Wake Up retreat in August. I enjoyed the Wake Up retreat in California earlier this year so much and going to Plum Village has been on my bucket list. Once the idea had entered, I couldn’t shake it. So I just ran with it.

So what are you doing for income now? And what’s your plan?

I’m doing freelance work for a couple of companies. I’m also looking at doing a little more work, perhaps with an agency or two that could use my expertise. I’m exploring opportunities as they arise. With the right kind of work, I could potentially get a freelance visa in a few European countries.

I could also be a “semi-illegal” immigrant. By that, I mean use a tourist visa to live/work in a country for up to six months at a time¹.

There is also the possibility of working for a multinational company that would eventually transfer me to Europe. But for the moment, that doesn’t feel right. My goal is to continue inching away from a corporate existence.

So what is it that you want to do?

I want to teach emotional intelligence to people. Namely men. It’s kind of the natural evolution of what I started mapping out about a year ago.

I’ve realized over the last three years that emotional intelligence is a gift of mine. The more I’ve explored it in my own life, the more that the doors to a life of truth, authenticity and fulfillment have opened. I mean, life is still shit at times, but I’ve never been this happy. I want to share it with people, just not in a weird, preachy life coach sort of way. Not my cup of tea.

I’ve been inspired by an institute called The School of Life. It is one of the most intelligent, yet empathetic, accessible and humorous means of answering life’s burning questions that I’ve ever seen. I feel like I can be there. Or do something similar. Or put my own twist on things.

I’m still unclear on how exactly I’m going to do this, but it’s taking shape. In the meantime. I don’t see myself doing PR for more than two years. So taking on a full-time role with a longer-term growth trajectory makes little sense.

You must have a ton of money to be doing this.

Ummm….sort of? I have some money, but I’m not exactly feeling cushy. I have enough to keep me going past Florence without dipping into credit cards. As long as I’m working with three clients, I’m good. That said, if the well runs dry, I would have to get really creative. Or return to the US. Or learn how to make some really cool paper mache art that I can sell as a street urchin.

What do you plan on doing when you’re not working or probing opportunities for your pursuit?

Reading and writing. Probably a lot of sitting in coffee shops. Maybe aspiring to have some Master of None moments. Some travel perhaps, but my goal is to be settled, not sightsee.

Aren’t you worried?

Of course. You’d have to be inhuman to not feel a bit of anxiety in this situation. But you come to realize that this is your brain talking. Or your ego trying to protect you from feeling unsafe. And we all know that your gut (aka your intuition) is the real brain trust here. And my gut says it will be fine. So I’m really not worried. Live in abundance, not lack.

This sounds like “a rolling stone grows no moss” shit. Aren’t you just going to be dissatisfied once you stay in Europe for a bit and want to live elsewhere?

That’s always a possibility. But I am also kind of ready to find a home, settle and get on with this next chapter. Your early 30s will do that to you.

And what’s the purpose of this journey? Can’t you just do this stuff from America?

I find that my biggest growth comes from new, unique and uncomfortable situations. It makes sense when you think about it – in a new environment, you have no set habits, thought processes or solutions. Your mind has to get creative – and in a new space, you start to devise solutions that you previously couldn’t comprehend.

I feel like I got everything I needed out of my time in California and America. Now it’s time to see what a new experience will unveil.

What happens if you fail?

I suppose it depends on the definition of ‘fail.’ Even if I have to come back to the US, I’ll have learned something. And I can always pick myself back up.

You’ve never seemed like a dreamy Tuscany fella. Why Florence?

I’m going to a friend’s wedding in Italy in late September and it seemed like a good place to hang my hat for a little while. It’s primarily an economical decision – if you AirBnB a place for a month, you get a massive discount. Like, cheaper than living in America. So I may choose to live in a variety of secondary European cities until further notice.

What scares you the most?

Forgetting why I came to Europe in the first place. The lyrics to ‘Little Room’ by the White Stripes exemplifies this sentiment best².

What excites you the most?

The idea that the Universe has something in mind for me that I can’t possibly even fathom. I look at things like photosynthesis, mobile technology and really inventive vegan food and think ‘I am smart, but nowhere near smart enough to create any of these cool mechanisms. So surely Universe, your big creative brain has to be bigger than mine!”

We’re already at 1,600 words. So much for not being verbose, sir. Parting thoughts?

Just fucking go for it. What’s the worst that could happen?

I love you all, you wondrous, amazing human bundles of magic. Keep leaping.

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¹If, for whatever reason, I do become an immigration bandit, I will delete this post. I’m sure it could be used as evidence in some court of law.

²Good shout, Michaela. Good shout.